Light Snack

yesterday i didn't eat much. i had a light snack, or a snack of light. i had to have a medical procedure at the southern general hospital: an endoscopy. that's the one where they put a camera down your throat, not the other end. they need to give me this as my stomach has i've had some trouble with keeping food down and acid reflux.

it was scheduled for 8.30am, and i last ate anything about 6.30pm the night before. the leaflet i was given told me to not eat or drink anything from midnight, but my last herbal tea was about 9pm to be on the safe side.

the hospital staff were running a little late even though i was first of the day. they were dealing with other patients who were already in there, not just visiting like myself. the nurses were very nice and explained everything to me. i imagined it to be like visiting the dentist, but it was a more 'hospitally' visit than i imagined it would be: having to wear one of those gowns that split up the back, and giving me a name tag around my wrist, then wheeling me through on gurney.



the camera with the light on it could have been damaged by my tongue piercing so they asked if it could be taken out. i wasn't allowed to watch the monitor and see my insides unfortunately, only if you were getting the tube up "the other end" could you watch i was told. they sprayed the inside of my mouth a few times with an anaesthetic spray which tasted of bananas. laying down on my left side a nurse gave me one of those plastic things with a hole in it so that i could still breathe and not bite down on the camera tube.

my left arm was laid across in front of my right arm and resting on my right hip. they put one of those things to measure pulse or whatever on my index finger and a reassuring hand was laid on top of mine. this was probably not to reassure me but to prevent me from pulling the tube out if i started to gag and my body's normal self defence measures kicked in. who knows?

the endoscopy procedure was really quick, well once i had actually swallowed the tube. this is difficult when your throat had been numbed, the swallow muscles just didn't seem to want to swallow. having a camera/light down your throat brought to mind the facehugger from Alien, but it was mercifully short and didn't implant anything in my chest. on the contrary actually, a little bit of my stomach lining was taken out to biopsy. my stomach hurt a little after that, but was given the all clear. that means the rheumatologist can start testing me like a guineau pig on different meds.

after a wee lie down getting the tongue piercing back in again was difficult the most difficult part, almost creating a new hole in the process with the metal stud, not a sharp implement. i must have ripped away the protective layer that had built up on the inside of the tongue. this is actually the second time that's happened, it will heal soon.

after going to the hospital and having a sleep, Bulbgirl woke me up with a chocolate soya drink. perfect way to wake up.

Naked Picture of Vanessa Hudgens

nudity

who is Vanessa Hudgens? i had no idea until she set some pulses racing on some blogs. nude photos of her appeared online, and she has since apologized for this 'lapse in judgement.' that sound a little premeditated. she appears naked in a picture, doing nothing much at all, just standing naked as millions of lifemodels have done before her.


what is special about this case is that she has made a film (high school musical) for the disney channel, and could possibly tarnish disney's good name. does anyone really care though?

was the lapse in judgement an ill conceived marketing ploy, to get her name known by every blog and tabloid reader, or was the photographer an ex-boyfriend? there were some suggestions she released them herself just to boost her career.

they could have been taken with a self timer but i very much doubt that. most myspacers, beboers, and facebookers don't seem to know how to take a photo of themselves with a self timer, preferring the obligatory "shooting themselves in the mirror while showing the camera in hand shot," sometimes accompanied by flash to wipe out a lot of the image. the naked pic in question though looked like it was taken by someone else though, but for what purpose? a romantic evening for two? a lifemodel for a nude study? no one except Vanessa Hudgens (and of course the photographer) can answer that one, but she did try for a nice ambience. have a look at the string of light above the curtain:


the warmth of the glow suggest incandescents rather than leds. just like strings of christmas lights, they may not heat up very much but you still have to be careful. make sure any strings of lights near fabric (curtains, over beds) are securely fastened so there is no fire risk of burning your bedroom, bra or booty. think about having them on a timer so you don't fall asleep with the lights still on.

a mirror is a good idea to bounce light around. it doesn't have to be huge, or wall sized, but can aid to open up the space a little.
the candles suggest a romantic interlude, being a very delicate source of illumination. don't leave them unattended as they present a more direct fire risk. the play of light through glass and items such as plastic water bottles can be attractive especially with the delicate flickering of candlelight. a bottle of water could also serve to out (small) flames in the event of a fire but never be tempted to throw water on a candle if it melts down onto a wood surface. remember: wax and water don't mix. put candles on suitable candle holders, as spraying water onto a mushed candle might only exacerbate any flames (use a damp dishtowel as you would in a flaming fryingpan scenario).

one more thing: don't trust a bawbag with naked photos of yourself.

Thunder and Lightning, Very, Very Frightening

friday the 1st June was my last day in the lighting department. i had been with the company for nearly 6 years. time flies when you are having fun. it wasn't a full time job, my hours varied from week to week. sometimes i would work full-time (over 40 hours), and others i would only work a minimum of 12 hours. 99% of the time i would be in the lighting department, but now and again i would help out and work for other areas of the store. the second best place to work was in the plant area. orchids were possibly the nicest thing in the store.

over the past 6 months i was not there as much due to my health (fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, joint hyper mobility, whatever the hell i have). it was sad to leave on my last evening, but it's time for a change. Nic made me a "lightsabre of creativity", creatively fashioned with acetate and cardboard, along with a lovely card made from "recycled bits." Jaclyn went around the store with a notebook asking many of my coworkers to write a mention and cheerio. Gemma went to all the bother of writing me a poem for goodness sake. i was quite moved.

working with certain people, and interacting with the general public are the memories i will take with me. companies change over the years. people come and go and the atmosphere changes. Seth Goding speaks of "the vibe" of your company and asks "could it be better?"
hopefully i contributed to the vibe of the place while i was there.



on the way to work that day was a torrential downpour, even for Scotland. the rain that comes down so hard it bounces back up into "upwards rain." lighting flashed across the clouds, and thunder roared. i haven't been out in weather like that in quite a while. it cleared up by the time i got to work but maybe it was the Great Flashlight in the sky saying "so long" too? at least that's how'll i will remember it.

Let There Be (More) Light

Rocky Balboa may have said "let there be light" but God someone else said it before him. a chance meeting with someone on the way home from work tonight prompted this post. i don't mind sitting next to strangers on public transport, and even engaging them in conversation, but sometimes you just don't click. the stranger to my left seemed normal enough. i'm not quite sure how we got from small talk (just finished work? stuff) to "describe the universe in one word."

yes, he was a christian. nice enough, i suppose, but with a slightly odd sense of humour. an invititation to an easter service was extended with a leaflet with church times and what they get up to, fundraising and other good deeds. he told me the universe existed for love, four letters, and wanted me to accept Jesus into my life.

do you believe that Jesus died and rose 3 days later to save you from your sins?

from the point of view of a lapsed catholic i asked him would it be so bad if i didn't. with a slight flicker of disappointment, he said it wasn't for him to judge, only God could do that. he probably wouldn't have liked that i judged others to be bawbags (#1, #2). i don't really see the problem in judging others. of course keep an open mind, but call a spade a spade, or a bawbag a bawbag.

it must be nice to have that belief that is so strong, you want to share it with others. to believe that when you die, you will go to heaven, if you have lived a good life. this could have been a good time to tell him about my flashlight beliefs, didn't think he would like that though (maybe worshipping false gods). i don't have that faith. instead, i like to think of myself as an undercover buddhist. the idea of reincarnation seems more appealing, rather than the heaven or hell option.

years ago i visited a faith group and was felt a little claustrophobic when people came up to talk to me. i had the distinct impression that they didn't really want to but felt they would go to hell otherwise.

i love the art of religion. images, music (organ, sprituals, not the happy-clappy stuff) and the smell of incense and candles. i can also laugh at irreverent humour, which my travelling companion probably wouldn't have, such as these:


check out more of the cartoons at Explosm.net.

is it not enough to live a good life, for the sake of being good? to talk to you neighbour on a bus, for the hell of it and not to save them? that little voice you hear in your head is that God talking to you?