yesterday i took 15,608 steps according to my little pedometer/stepometer thingy. half of those hurt, my left half actually. the left hip has some major muscle spasm or nerve twinge stuff going on. it feels like walking on a spike, or as if the right hip ball joint is splitting in two. possibly this is a fibromyalgia flareup as i have been working more than usual lately. although still not 100% sure i have fibro, i do have an appointment with rheumatology people at the end of march to see if they can shed anymore light on my bodkin. the card for that came in at the end of last year.
one wonders what this pain is for. often i feel like bumping myself off and putting my lights out for good, but i have a theory (bare with me). after completing my 3 day water fast, i noticed that my right knee, which usually hurts, felt a little stronger. it's been operated on twice and stills grinds away with each step. with the pain dissolving in the right knee area it came back sharply in the left hip as mentioned above. also because the body is off kilter, the hamstrings are sore on the right leg. something similar happened when i first got an insole put in my left shoe. the muscles or tendons of the right heel were really sore for a couple of months while my body adjusted to the new postition.
yesterday in work i met a chap who had a stroke at the age of 29 and 5 years later is slowly fighting his way back to health and using a walking stick. we got talking and he gave me a juice recipe that he said would help with fibro as his mother has it. this chap was struggling a little and i caught some curious eyes glancing at him, some with pity and some just out of curiosity. i don't agree that you should feel better about your own lot in life because "there is always someone worse off than yourself". the suffering of others shouldn't make you feel better about yourself imho. you should feel better about yourself by enjoying life and stuff and torches and norwegian forest cats and not through guilt.
anyway back to my theory. a thought popped into my head that my right leg was trying to grow so that it's the same size as the right one (i did say bear with me =P). why not? is that a bit out there? if a body can suddenly display arthritic like symptoms and unexplained sore skin in it's late twenties, why shouldn't a leg grow back?
Bulbgirl asked if i had told anyone 'this theory'. replying that i hadn't, she then said that it's probably best that i keep this one to myself.
oops, i've gone and done it now :)
