Mother Tongue

i'm a mummy's boy, and apparently have the perfect tongue for piercing.

mother's day, or mothering sunday was on the 2nd of march here in the uk but is on the second sunday of may (11th may in 2008) in the states. everyday is mother's day for me, but it's one of those days when we have to be extra nice to our mothers. that means not telling her you just got your tongue pierced. on her return journey from australia recently, my mamma said that she'd tried unsuccesfully to watch elizabeth, starring cate blanchett. watching and flying put her off the movie.

while shopping for an elizabethan gift (eventually the dvd and a beautifully illustrated book were chosen) i told Bulbgirl that i had to check something out. while in glasgow city centre i thought i'd do something that had been put off since last week. bulbgirl had a few guesses:

"is it art?" "no."
"is it music?" "no."
"is it food?" "no."

she soon realised what was to be checked out when we were standing outside nirvana body piercing. after enquiring about tongue piercing they took me right after someone who had made an appointment. the piercer, john, was great at laying out what he was going to do. and clean? i think it's probably cleaner than most hospitals, with the attention that john puts into washing, wearing surgical gloves, and using sterile instruments only once!

the procedure was a doddle in john's capable hands. a slight sharp pain and the bar was inserted. i was handed mouthwash (maybe dental bleach?) and given a run through of after care procedures. john said that my tongue would swell up probably by tuesday, and then be fine in 7-10 days. he also added that i'd probably regret having it done for a day or so. it's now the wee small hours of thursday morning, and it's been no bother so far.

i couldn't even feel the pain of the tongue that first night. my regular body pains outdid any piercing pain. is even a short walk in glasgow too much for me these days? pacing myself is something i've tried but some days my stamina just seems to evaporate.

a cool trick that i learned from house m.d is to use pain as a distraction. bulbgirl and i have been making our way through the first 2 series of house. in one episode, hugh laurie damages his hand on purpose, creating pain there, which also lessens the chronic pain in his leg. something to do with pain pathways, or the like. i don't know exactly how it works but tried it the next night. when experiencing joint/body pains i pushed the tongue piercing against my teeth to make it hurt more. it hurt a little, but seemed to take the edge off the rest of the body pains momentarily. is the answer to pain medication more pain (or just a different type of pain)?

anyway, john the piercer gave bulbgirl and myself a lift home. i was his last customer of the day and he asked me where i live and said it was on his way. we got talking, how long had he run his business, mothers day, what did his wife do, and other stuff. bizarrely enough, we found out he had met my mother at a parents evening! his kid was being taught be my own mother. "didn't her brother die recently?" john asked. his kid was quite upset that they had lost their teacher for a month.

obviously him sticking a needle through my tongue was meant to be. in a city of over a million people, how spooky is that? the rest of the night i tried to avoid speaking with a slightly closed mouth so not to show a glinting stud, and eating soup really slowly so the chink of spoon on metal in my mouth didn't give me away. it's not a big deal, but after the shock my mother got when told of my previous tongue bifurcation attempt, understandably i didn't want to her through that again. well, not just yet.

she really like the mother's day gifts, but would still give me a tongue lashing for the piercing. not a word to her if you know her please.