my father is in barra. he went up on saturday, 4 years to the day he had triple heart bypass surgery. his brother died today, technically yesterday, 12 hours ago.
the rest of the family will join him tomorrow, in preparation for the funeral which will probably be on thursday.
i have no uncles left now. Archie is my third uncle to pass away this year, after my mother's brother and mickey joe just over a month ago.
strangely enough, it's also 50 years to the day that another Archie died: my mother's cousin fell from a cliff when he was very young.
my father wasn't in the best of health himself just before flying up. he had suspected heart problems the weeks before travelling. having had previous heart surgery he was admitted straight into hospital. after he was released he was informed that the x-rays showed the pain near his heart was emanating from a broken wire that was holding his rib cage together.
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Thursday, May 01, 2008
Eriskay Escapades
my family and I went to Eriskay for a few days. it wasn't for a holiday or a little break away. instead it was to bury my mother's brother, Ken. you may have read that he was already cremated in melbourne, Australia, but he wanted to be buried in Eriskay where he grew up. why choose between cremation and burial when you can have both! Ken wasn't the biggest of guys but even transporting a small coffin is a lot more difficult than transporting a casket of ashes. i thought his ashes were going to be scattered, but the plan was to bury them.
before setting off, to the outer hebrides, we were joking that we had better take the correct casket, as our cat Raku's ashes still haven't been scattered by my sister.
the pic above shows the cemetery in the centre of the image, which is incredibly close to the ocean. the plot where Ken was finally laid to rest, was only about 1ft x 2ft x 2ft deep. what i found very interesting was the presence of little seashells underneath the turf. there was even a larger limpet shell. the beach has really white sand, and looked very summery. the sun was shining, but the wind blowing off the atlantic made it a wee bit nippy. when i was in Oz a couple of year's back a tour guide mentioned that he'd been to Barra and being an Aussie had his bodyboard with him. he told how he'd been fooled by the sand and blue waters, joking that he almost caught hypothermia.
when travelling up, we went to Barra first ( staying overnight there also). it is a 5 hour ferry journey from Oban. my folks are from there so we saw some relatives including my uncle (father's brother) who is gravely ill with cancer. we had been visiting him when he was staying in the hospital in Glasgow, but he seems a little better on home turf, regaining some mobility instead of wasting away in a hospital bed.
it was a strange few days, a whistlewind tour of the western isles. Eriskay and Uist are connected now by a causeway. previously you had to get the boat, or ferry. don't know when i'll be going back up again, hopefully when it's a little warmer.
before setting off, to the outer hebrides, we were joking that we had better take the correct casket, as our cat Raku's ashes still haven't been scattered by my sister.
the pic above shows the cemetery in the centre of the image, which is incredibly close to the ocean. the plot where Ken was finally laid to rest, was only about 1ft x 2ft x 2ft deep. what i found very interesting was the presence of little seashells underneath the turf. there was even a larger limpet shell. the beach has really white sand, and looked very summery. the sun was shining, but the wind blowing off the atlantic made it a wee bit nippy. when i was in Oz a couple of year's back a tour guide mentioned that he'd been to Barra and being an Aussie had his bodyboard with him. he told how he'd been fooled by the sand and blue waters, joking that he almost caught hypothermia.
when travelling up, we went to Barra first ( staying overnight there also). it is a 5 hour ferry journey from Oban. my folks are from there so we saw some relatives including my uncle (father's brother) who is gravely ill with cancer. we had been visiting him when he was staying in the hospital in Glasgow, but he seems a little better on home turf, regaining some mobility instead of wasting away in a hospital bed.
it was a strange few days, a whistlewind tour of the western isles. Eriskay and Uist are connected now by a causeway. previously you had to get the boat, or ferry. don't know when i'll be going back up again, hopefully when it's a little warmer.
Monday, March 17, 2008
Perpetual Light
i was at a funeral on saturday. another of my uncles died last week. his name was Michael. i didn't know him very well as he had separated from my aunt a long time ago. he had isolated himself from people he knew over the course of his life. by all accounts he was difficult to live with, but towards the end of his life, and his battle with cancer, in the final few weeks he made his peace with his family.
it was a strange kind of funeral, it didn't feel as sad as they usually do. strange because the priest at the funeral was my cousin, the dead man's own son. he was very professional, and there seemed to be an air of joy. i'm not sure if joy is the right word, maybe it was a general happiness that his suffering was over. it was also a time for the clan to meet up. cousins i had not seen for a while were there, some with kids that are growing up what seems incredibly fast. time passes, people are busy, and often it's only occasion like weddings and funerals that we meet up.
one side of the family are quite religious, they do have a priest after all. one of the other brothers we all thought might go into the priesthood, eventually got into politics and works behind the scenes at the scottish parliament. it was the wilder one who funnily became the priest. i wonder if it's that certainty of seeing people again in heaven that makes funerals less sad for believers. i don't have the same beliefs or the same certainty. this might be it, all there is. who knows?
but one of the prayers that my cousin said struck a chord:
perpetual light. aren't those two words beautiful together? being brought up a catholic, the prayer wasn't unfamiliar, but i'd never really thought about it before. that's the problem learning things by rote, repetition doesn't always get you to think about what you are saying. perpetual light would need infinite energy. i like the sound of that too. infinite energy, say it out loud, hear the words in your head. i lean more towards fuzzy reincarnation-jedi-lion-king ideas about the afterlife.
what do you think? what happens when we go. do you think there will perpetual light, or are we snuffed out like a candle?
rest in peace, Michael. wherever you are.
it was a strange kind of funeral, it didn't feel as sad as they usually do. strange because the priest at the funeral was my cousin, the dead man's own son. he was very professional, and there seemed to be an air of joy. i'm not sure if joy is the right word, maybe it was a general happiness that his suffering was over. it was also a time for the clan to meet up. cousins i had not seen for a while were there, some with kids that are growing up what seems incredibly fast. time passes, people are busy, and often it's only occasion like weddings and funerals that we meet up.
one side of the family are quite religious, they do have a priest after all. one of the other brothers we all thought might go into the priesthood, eventually got into politics and works behind the scenes at the scottish parliament. it was the wilder one who funnily became the priest. i wonder if it's that certainty of seeing people again in heaven that makes funerals less sad for believers. i don't have the same beliefs or the same certainty. this might be it, all there is. who knows?
but one of the prayers that my cousin said struck a chord:
eternal rest grant unto them, o lord, and let perpetual light shine upon them. may they rest in peace. amen
perpetual light. aren't those two words beautiful together? being brought up a catholic, the prayer wasn't unfamiliar, but i'd never really thought about it before. that's the problem learning things by rote, repetition doesn't always get you to think about what you are saying. perpetual light would need infinite energy. i like the sound of that too. infinite energy, say it out loud, hear the words in your head. i lean more towards fuzzy reincarnation-jedi-lion-king ideas about the afterlife.
what do you think? what happens when we go. do you think there will perpetual light, or are we snuffed out like a candle?
rest in peace, Michael. wherever you are.
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Death Down Under
my mother just returned from oz . she hadn't planned the 3 week visit down under: at the end of january she received a sad call from her eldest sister to say that her brother, Ken, had died. he was 72, the eldest of her siblings.
the neighbours hadn't seem him for a while so the police broke in to his house where he was found in his bed. it's unclear how long he was there for, it could have been up to a couple of weeks. his sister, living in melbourne, thought that it was funny she hadn't heard from him on her birthday, on the 25th january. this was a little weird, but not out of the ordinary, he had been forgetting a few birthdays over the last year.
Kenny was my siblings' favourite uncle when we were children. as a merchant seaman, and a lifelong bachelor, he always gave us more money than we were used to getting as pocket money. he would play silly games folding paper, guessing games and tricks with the prize being cash. he was very generous but more often than not he was plastered. drinking too much does seem to be an affliction that many sailors from the western isles seem to have, but Ken had a few more reasons to drink.
when he was younger he suffered an accident on a building site which left him in a lot of pain. in his mid 50s he had another accident. Kenny was in the cabin of a boat that was being lowered into the water when the cables holding the boat snapped on one side. the men that were on deck fell into the water, but my uncle was thrown around this cabin putting him in hospital once again. he needed metal rods inserted into his arm to rebuild his shattered elbow. drinking for him probably killed the pain to some extent, but also made him a little childlike himself. on the whole he was a likeable drunk, but in his later years, alcohol probably got the better of him.
most people liked Ken. in australia they mostly likely thought he was a crazy scotsman, while on his visits back home, many thought he was a crazy australian. he 'emigrated' to australia many years ago, well that's not quite true. he jumped ship in australia, and hid out in new zealand for a while until the coast was clear. he told me that you probably wouldn't be able to pull the same stunt nowadays, but he got away with it.
my mother, along with another sister, flew out to melbourne, to see to Ken's funeral, put his affairs in order, and clean out his house. so there were 3 of his 5 sisters at the funeral. he was cremated and his ashes have been brought back to be scattered in the western isles. at the cremation ceremony my mother, and her sisters, were wondering about the identity of 3 young girls. could they be long family, a hebridean connection? quite possible as Ken knew a few scottish families out there. actually, no. they turned out to be barmaids from his local watering hole. kudos. my uncle must have been a good tipper. i'm sure he would have appreciated that.
the neighbours hadn't seem him for a while so the police broke in to his house where he was found in his bed. it's unclear how long he was there for, it could have been up to a couple of weeks. his sister, living in melbourne, thought that it was funny she hadn't heard from him on her birthday, on the 25th january. this was a little weird, but not out of the ordinary, he had been forgetting a few birthdays over the last year.
Kenny was my siblings' favourite uncle when we were children. as a merchant seaman, and a lifelong bachelor, he always gave us more money than we were used to getting as pocket money. he would play silly games folding paper, guessing games and tricks with the prize being cash. he was very generous but more often than not he was plastered. drinking too much does seem to be an affliction that many sailors from the western isles seem to have, but Ken had a few more reasons to drink.
when he was younger he suffered an accident on a building site which left him in a lot of pain. in his mid 50s he had another accident. Kenny was in the cabin of a boat that was being lowered into the water when the cables holding the boat snapped on one side. the men that were on deck fell into the water, but my uncle was thrown around this cabin putting him in hospital once again. he needed metal rods inserted into his arm to rebuild his shattered elbow. drinking for him probably killed the pain to some extent, but also made him a little childlike himself. on the whole he was a likeable drunk, but in his later years, alcohol probably got the better of him.
most people liked Ken. in australia they mostly likely thought he was a crazy scotsman, while on his visits back home, many thought he was a crazy australian. he 'emigrated' to australia many years ago, well that's not quite true. he jumped ship in australia, and hid out in new zealand for a while until the coast was clear. he told me that you probably wouldn't be able to pull the same stunt nowadays, but he got away with it.
my mother, along with another sister, flew out to melbourne, to see to Ken's funeral, put his affairs in order, and clean out his house. so there were 3 of his 5 sisters at the funeral. he was cremated and his ashes have been brought back to be scattered in the western isles. at the cremation ceremony my mother, and her sisters, were wondering about the identity of 3 young girls. could they be long family, a hebridean connection? quite possible as Ken knew a few scottish families out there. actually, no. they turned out to be barmaids from his local watering hole. kudos. my uncle must have been a good tipper. i'm sure he would have appreciated that.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
